Can’t Conceive? Starting a Family in Another Way

  • Struggling to conceive is common, but alternatives like adoption, surrogacy, and foster parenting provide other paths to parenthood.
  • Adoption offers numerous options, each unique regarding contact level and geographical scope.
  • Surrogacy enables biological connections but requires careful consideration of emotional, physical, and financial factors.
  • Foster parenting offers a rewarding way to make a difference despite its unique challenges and demands.

Many married couples encounter difficulties when trying to conceive, a struggle that can be attributed to various factors, including age, lifestyle choices, health conditions, and even stress. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), about 12% of women considered to be of optimal child-bearing age in the United States have difficulty getting pregnant or carrying a pregnancy to term. On the other hand, the American Society for Reproductive Medicine reports that male-factor infertility contributes to approximately 40% of all infertility cases. It’s important to remember that struggling to conceive is a common experience for many couples, and numerous alternative paths exist to start a family.

However, you might not know what alternative options are available, let alone the pros and cons of each. Here are a few ways to fulfill your dream of having a family, even if traditional conception is not an option for you:


Adoption is a remarkable and fulfilling way to start or extend a family. It not only provides a child with a loving and nurturing environment, but it also allows couples or individuals to experience parenthood. Adoption is not a second-best choice but an equally rewarding path to creating a family. There are several different types of adoption, each with unique processes and benefits.

Domestic Adoption

Domestic adoption means adopting a kid in locally. This can occur through a private agency, a public agency (often for children in foster care), or independently through a direct arrangement between the birth and adoptive parents.

International Adoption

International adoption, or intercountry adoption, is adopting a child from another country. This type of adoption often involves more extensive legal procedures and can be more costly, but it allows parents to provide a home for a child in need from around the globe.

Open Adoption

In an open adoption, the birth parents and adoptive parents maintain some level of contact. This can range from letters and emails to in-person visits, providing the child with a connection to their biological heritage.

Closed Adoption

In a closed adoption process, there is no contact or exchange of information between the birth parents and the adoptive parents after the adoption takes place. This type of adoption can ensure privacy and protection for all parties involved.


Opting for surrogacy to start a family

Surrogacy is another viable alternative for starting a family. It offers an opportunity for individuals or couples to have a child that is biologically related to them when they may not be able to conceive or carry a pregnancy. This process involves a surrogate – a woman who agrees to carry a pregnancy for someone else.

There are two types of surrogacy: traditional and gestational. The first one involves the surrogate’s egg being used, and therefore, the surrogate is biologically related to the child. On the other hand, gestational surrogacy uses the egg and sperm of the intended parents or donors, and the child is not biologically related to the surrogate.

Surrogacy is an ideal choice for many reasons. For some, medical conditions may prevent safe pregnancy and childbirth. For others, surrogacy might be a choice for reasons related to age or lifestyle. It’s also a popular choice within the LGBTQ+ community, allowing individuals and couples to have a child that shares a genetic connection with them.

Choosing surrogacy requires careful consideration. Potential parents should think about the emotional, physical, and financial implications. It’s crucial to conduct thorough research, understand the legal aspects, and consider the potential relationship with the surrogate. It’s also essential to seek professional advice and counseling to fully comprehend the implications and demands of this path to parenthood.

Foster Parenting

Foster parenting is another heartfelt and rewarding way to build a family. It involves taking care of a child who, due to various reasons, has been placed into the foster care system. This could be due to many factors, such as parental neglect, abuse, or an inability to provide adequate care. Foster parents provide a stable, loving environment and care for these children until they can either return to their biological families or find permanent homes through adoption.

Foster parenting is ideal for a multitude of reasons. Firstly, it offers a sense of fulfillment and purpose, as you make a significant difference in a child’s life by providing them with a safe and nurturing home. Moreover, it allows couples and individuals to experience parenting and family life. Also, foster parenting is ideal for those who wish to contribute positively to their community by helping needy children. It’s an opportunity to provide stability to a child during a challenging time. In some cases, you may also have the chance to adopt your foster child, forming a lifelong bond and a loving family.

However, like any other family-building option, foster parenting comes with its unique challenges and demands. It requires patience, commitment, and a great deal of empathy. Some children in foster care may have experienced trauma and might need special care and attention. Additionally, the uncertainty of how long the child will stay in your care could be challenging. Despite these potential challenges, the rewards of foster parenting are immense, and the positive impact you can make on a child’s life is immeasurable.

Final Thoughts

Starting a family is a unique and personal journey; there’s no one-size-fits-all approach. It’s essential to consider your circumstances, needs, and desires when exploring alternative paths to parenthood. Adoption, surrogacy, and foster parenting all offer fulfilling opportunities to build a family and provide a loving home for a child in need. Whatever path you choose, educating yourself, seeking professional guidance, and being open-minded to the possibilities are crucial.

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